This isn’t as much a financial post as it is a psychological one. There are way too many times when life gets you down. Things can definitely go wrong and sometimes they can be pretty major. It’s ok though, because you’ll get through it. You just have to remember to keep your head up. Unless it kills you, you will be still moving forward. Hopefully soon putting whatever it was behind you.
I am a firm believer in positive attitude. I believe that the right attitude will get you through everything. Kind of a “glass half full” (GHF) type of guy. I wasn’t always this way. In fact, I always claimed to be a realist, and still do, but even as a realist there is no reason that you shouldn’t try to find the positives out of everything. Even something negative.
The great Wade Boggs once said:
“Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us but the attitude we bring to life.”
“A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.”
I had a friend that I used to work with. He accepted a promotion one day to another location. He was a really good guy but not someone that I hung out with on the regular. Pretty much a “work friend”. Anyway, upon his exit, he sent me an email. Just to me. It went to nobody else, and it had those two quotes in it, in that order.
At first, I didn’t understand why he sent them to me. Then I thought that he was just being funny. Then it hit me. Admittedly, it wasn’t something that I just did, changing my attitude that is, my way of thinking and viewing life. It took time. My friend left in 2006 and I can bet that it took me until around 2012 to change my way of thinking and really see the results of these two quotes. I have certainly seen the results, and they make me wish that I had embraced this philosophy much sooner.
A few years ago, the girl child was preparing to start high school. She walked into the cafeteria with her mom and I for student orientation. Clearly she was intimidated. She was coming from a class of 22 into a class of over 500. My daughter is petite, so she was also concerned because she was shorter than most of her classmates. She told us that she would pick a spot up against the wall, in the corner, and “That’s where we could find her.”
That attitude was unacceptable and I jumped in her face and told her what she should be doing.
I told her that she should be walking into that cafeteria like she owned it. Like she was supposed to be there, because she was. I told her that she is much taller when she would keep her head up and held high. That she was much larger than life with a positive attitude, and if she wanted to make friends, then she should lead with a smile and offer her name before asking theirs. Be the first to say “Hi”. I told her that the attitude that she puts forth, will say more about her than her words ever could.
She took my advice, but it wasn’t easy. The best stuff never is. Today she is in college, waiting to finish her B.S., soon to be walking for her A.A. once the Rona subsides. She’s living on her own and absolutely killing it in college. I’m a very proud father.
She kept her head up….
As both the girl child and the boy child have grown, I found myself full of those little tidbits of knowledge and pep talks. My favorite being to “Keep moving forward”.
Nothing can stop you except death, as long as you’re determined.
Just a speedbump in the road.
Don’t freeze/lock up, pick a direction and move. For even if you’re wrong, at least you learned not to go that way and then head in a different direction.
Put something on paper, even if it’s just a sentence. Then you have something you can build off of. You can’t write a whole essay in your head.
With all of this wonderful and inspiring information, you would think it would be easier for me to take my own advice. I guess this gets filed under “Those who can’t do, teach”. Still, I try every day to be as positive about things as I can be. I try to find the good in the bad and I do my best to help others find it too.
Oooo, sorry you lost your leg in that horrific accident.
Good news though, one less shoe to tie!
Ok, so finding the good in some things might really be stretching it a bit. However, having a sense of humor about things can help you cope. Sort of, “fake it until you make it” mentality. This is the type of attitude that you will find in law enforcement, medics, and firefighters. They are often criticized for their callousness in sensitive situations but in reality, it’s a coping mechanism. Finding humor where no humor exist to be a substitute for all of the horrific events that they must endure. It really does take a special person, but even then, every person has limits.
Phone a Friend
Whatever your coping mechanism is, you need to not be afraid to use it. People deal with stress and crisis differently. As beautiful as that is, making each of us so very unique, it also makes helping and understanding others so very difficult. This is one of those moments when you want to use one of your lifelines. So whatever that lifeline is, phone a friend, go to church or have your savior make a house call, hold your breath until you pass out, laughing until you scream, etc., you need to get it done. Taking action, making a move, putting a sentence on paper, all of these and many more are simply the first steps in moving forward.
It’s been a tough year, and you’re not alone in dealing with issues. For that matter, Covid or not, you are never alone in dealing with issues. You just need to remember to keep moving forward, and keep your head up.
Dave
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